So it’s my birthday and I’m opening gifts. I open the wrapped box from my uncle.
I open the box, and find a $50 gift card, yes? But wait, there’s Styrofoam. There’s more.
Then I remove the Styrofoam…
A FUCKING LEGLESS LEGO LEGOLAS
mY UNCLE GOT ME A LEGLESS LEGO LEGOLAS
bEST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER
he then later gave me the legs.
LEGO LEGOLAS’ LEGO LEGS
Are you Luna Lovegood
Loony Luna Lovegood Lavishly Loving LEGO Legolas’s LEGO Legs
You know when you’re walking in the woods, chomping a burger, and the wind begins to move the leaves in a way that says, “Get a job Fred. Stop pretending that long, contemplative burger-walks are going to help you transition into the adult world”? I hate that. #relatable
I haaaaaate it…
Your Best Breakfast Forward!
Inside of all of us, there is a breakfast lover who has the potential to do great things. Find yours today! Change is easy with this simple program, but don’t take our word for it:
“These tapes are amazing! They taught me to love myself as much as I love bacon.”
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“Before I purchased this self-help set, I was a depressed, single 45 year old man. These tapes changed my life. Now I’m a slightly less depressed 12 year old cat.”
No temple guard can keep the Pink Pancakes from victory. Even if they are SUPER scary.